“Just who does she think she is?” my friend whispered as she leaned in even closer in the already tightly confined and crowded space. We were awkwardly standing around the dance floor in an overcrowded dance club. I looked up to see the “She” my friend was referring to. She was the life of the party, the girl everyone wanted to talk to and be seen with. The girl all the boys wanted to dance with. I watched as the girl flipped her hair and laughed an oddly nervous laugh. She was obnoxious, loud and making a lot of commotion. I could tell she was used to being the center of attention.
I kind of had to agree with my friend, and so I replied, “I know, right? Yeah, who does she think she is!?!
“If she thinks she’s going to make a move on my guy she had better think twice!” my friend said through gritted teeth.
“Do you know her?” I asked
My friend nodded her head and said she was a local in the town and a regular at the dance club.
“Oh, and which one is your guy,” I asked wide eyed as I continued to watch this girl. I wasn’t from around there. I hadn’t really ever been allowed to attended dances so the whole scene in front of me was rather new territory. But anyone could see the girl was confident, overly so boarding on arrogant. She had an “I’m better than you” attitude that went with it. She knew how to work a room and she definitely knew how to turn the boys’ heads.
For just a minute, I was just as outraged as my friend. I was making judgements and accusing someone I didn’t know. I only had my friend’s assessment of this person to go on. I had one foot ready to board the offense train. I wanted to show support for my friend. I took on her anger as my own. I wanted her to know I supported her wholeheartedly. The problem was, I had no problem with this particular girl. I didn’t even know her.
It’s true I didn’t care for what I observed, but it didn’t give me the right to make a judgement against her. I didn’t even know her, and yet I was all too eager to join my friend in her offense directed towards this girl.
All aboard! …
Yes, the call had gone out, the trap was set. I stood with my hand on the railing and one foot on the step of the train with the other foot still on the ground. Sadly, I was all too ready to jump on and ride the train with a one way ticket all the way to offense town with my friend.
As an adult, looking back, I can see just how crazy it was. Yes, the story may seem humorous, but the reality of it is this scenario still plays out today. It might not be picking up an offense from our high school girlfriend over a boy, but we pick up an offense none-the-less.
#Offense has a subtle way of working its way into our hearts and our conversations. Click To Tweet
Offense enters in when we feel or think an injustice or a wrong has been done. It may be the truth, or it may just be our perception of it. Offense has a subtle way of working its way into our hearts and our conversations. It is an open door for the enemy to come in and mess with our emotions and destroy relationships. When we are hurt by someone we care about, look up to our are in authority over us, we must be careful to guard our hearts against offense.
#Offense is unavoidable, but we don’t have to accept it or let it attach itself to us. Click To Tweet
We must remember, our battle isn’t against flesh and blood people (Eph 6: 12). We have a real enemy that is unseen. He prowls around seeking whom he can devour (1 Peter 5:8) and he stops at nothing to trap us. “The Bait of Satan.” is the title of John Bevere’s book on the topic of offense and I think the title sums it up pretty well. Offense is going to come, satan intends it to trap us and for it to destroy us, but God always turns it around for His good. Offense is unavoidable, but we don’t have to accept it or let it attach itself to us.
There are many examples of how to handle or not handle offense in the Bible, but I am just going to mention two.
A perfect example on how to handle offense comes from Abraham and Lot. More than once, Abraham showed how to navigate offense and refused to be offended at Lot. (Gen 13:7-16, Gen 14:12-16).
A perfect example of how not to handle offense is Saul and David. Saul became offended because of the way people treated and sang praises about David. From that moment on, Saul was jealous of David and sought to kill him. (1 Sam 18:6-16, 29).
Micheal Hyatt says: Being offended is a choice. You get to decide how you react to the wrongdoing of others.
Just as we can’t take offense when it comes directly at us, we need to not pick up an offense on behalf of another person. We must remember that there are two sides to every story. When someone causes hurt or pain to someone we love, we must not pick up their offense. Instead we walk with them through it. We help them assess and forgive so they don’t get stuck aboard a runaway train headed straight to offense town.
If we know that offense is going to come, then how do we deal with it? Here are some key things to remember as you begin to navigate your escape from “offense town.’
Keys to Escape Offense Town
Forgiveness is a choice. It is something God speaks very clearly about in Scripture. Forgiveness is a key in so many aspects of the life of the believer. If we choose not to forgive, it opens a door for the enemy to come in and hold us hostage in a place God never chose us to be.
Choose to Believe the Best
Being unoffendable means we choose to believe the best about people. It isn’t always an easy thing to do, especially if you’ve been hurt. The Bible tell us only God sees the heart, which means we do not. We need to remember, while we may discern something, or have some knowledge of someone’s actions, we still do not know what is in their hearts. We need to choose to believe the best about them and trust God.
When offense comes, and it will come, we must pray. We need to pray against it taking root in our hearts and ask God what our part is, which may also lead to our repentance. Through prayer, we ask God to close the door to the enemy and not allow offense access. We then pray and ask for the strength to continue to choose forgiveness and to believe the best in the other person.
Yes, confrontation can and is a healthy part of relationship. Danny Silk talks about this in his book “Keep Your Love on.” There are times when we need to speak the truth in love or even say, this hurt me, or wasn’t kind. Confrontation is not something we need to run from, it is something that we need to embrace to strengthen our relationships. We aren’t always going to agree with one another, but we can still love each other.
Love & Bless
We need to extend love and blessings towards the people who caused offense. The Bible says to love and bless and do not curse. When we curse or talk bad about someone else, you are giving the enemy legal ground in your life.
In order to not let offense, take root, we have to lay down our rights and our right to be right. We have to trust God and walk in a continual flow of releasing love, blessings and forgiveness towards others.
Do not let offense take root, instead release #love and #blessings towards others. Click To Tweet
Ready to Join the Challenge?
It’s Almost time for the August ‘Dare to… 5-Day Monthly Challenge’
It’s simple and easy and won’t require much of your time, but the benefits will be great. It’s a win – win – win… A win in a your relationship with God, a win in developing relationships with others, and a win in your own personal development.
You can find more details by clicking on the image below from the blog post from June:
Here’s what you need to do:
*Watch for my FB live video this Sunday August 11 revealing what August’s challenge will be.
*Share the video on your social media page and tag some friends to join you.
*Make sure to like and follow the Dare 2 Hear Facebook Page –
August’s Challenge starts ~ Monday August 19!
Click on the picture below to go directly to the page on Facebook.
If you would like to get email notifications regarding the Dare to… 5-Day Monthly Challenge – please subscribe below
Again Welcome and Thank you for joining me for #TuneInThursday it is an honor to have you here!
I have had a few people ask for a badge/button to display on your blogs. I would absolutely be honored if you would display it, or link back here in some way. Thank you!
Now let’s get this party started, feel free to link 1-3 posts:
Check out the NEW Podcast from @Dare2Hear Episode 18: Dreams 101 Click To Tweet
Episode #018: Dreams 101 “Dare 2 Hear The Podcast” is now live!
Thank you to those who listened last week and have already left reviews! You have blessed us so much!
Would you please consider subscribing to my podcast on the platform of your choice, sharing it on your social media with friends and if you like what you hear, would you leave a review so others can know what you think.
For those who like to watch and not just listen, I will also be posting new episodes on my YouTube Channel. You can find it by clicking here.
New episodes will be released every Wednesday. Next week Episode #019: Submitted, Committed, & Connected
Can I ask a HUGE Favor?
Would you Please Listen & LEAVE A REVIEW ON iTunes…
It know it may seem like a lot to ask, because it takes time. However, if you can leave an honest review after listening, it would really be a HUGE blessing. Each review helps the podcast rank higher and get more eyes. If you’re interested, here’s how you do it:
- Go to the iTunes podcast page for my show – CLICK HERE
- Click on the blue button that says “View in iTunes.” (If you are prompted to launch iTunes, you’ll need to do so)
- Listen to Episode 1 How to Hear the Voice of God
- Click on the “Subscribe” button
- Click on “Ratings & Reviews” tab (if on your computer) or “Reviews” (on your phone)
- Under the title “Customer Reviews” click “Write a Review”
- Leave a simple and honest review then click “Submit” and you’re done!
Thanks again for helping spread the news about the podcast!
With Much love and Appreciation,
Debbie Kitterman is a natural born encourager who is on fire for God. She is passionate about equipping individuals, so they can go deeper in the relationship with God, reach their God-potential and claim their Kingdom inheritance. Debbie is a wife, mother, author, pastor, speaker and the founder of “Dare 2 Hear,” a ministry that trains individuals to hear the voice of God. She travels to churches internationally and is the founder and teacher of d2htraining.com, an online course designed to equip the believer in releasing God’s heart. Her writing and teachings inspire faith and build bridges for people to believe and expect the impossible. She is also an ordained Foursquare pastor, currently serving with her husband, John, as senior pastor of Restoration Church in Lacey, Washington. Learn more at: www.debbiekitterman.com
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YouVersion 7-Day Devotional
I am blessed and honored to have a 7-day devotional on the YouVersion Bible App. YAY!!! It is a great way to kick start the 7- days before my on-line Bible Study starts next week. I would be so blessed if you would check it out and share it with your friends. You can find it here: Be The Gift Someone Needs Today!
Have you had the opportunity to read my new book “The Gift of Prophetic Encouragement: Hearing the Words of God for others.” ? This book is about learning to hear the voice of God in our own life so we can respond to those God bumps and little nudges He gives us on a daily basis. God is calling us to be agents of encouragement and to be the gift the worlds needs today.
We live in a time, where those around us are in desperate need of a real encounter with Jesus and in need of encouragement. We are called to encourage one another daily (Hebrews 3:13), and to build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11). My book will teach you how to step out and do just that.
We all have the opportunity to #BeTheGift of encouragement others need today.
Do you wonder if God still speaks today? Do you wonder if He would ever speak to you personally? Do you long to hear the voice of God in your life?
Have your read other books on hearing from God, but long for hands on practical application? or are you looking for ways to move you forward hearing from God?
If you answered YES to any of those questions, then I have exactly what you need. I now have an online e-course designed to equip you in understanding that God still speaks today, and He longs to speak directly to you, through His word, and others. He longs to encourage you, strengthen you and comfort you. The training on this site, is fully based on Scripture, and taken from my training manual Releasing God’s heart through Hearing His Voice.
God is speaking, Can you Hear Him?
d2htrainging.com membership site is open, I invite you to check it out today, and develop a deeper relationship with the Lord, as you learn to hear Him speak to your heart.
Looking for other Great Inspirational Parties. Click Here to see where I Link-Up weekly.
Several Submissions have been featured at Blessed Transgressions, an Online Magazine:
My Post: Adjust the Flow was featured here:
My Post: The Reluctant Encourager was featured here:
My Post #BeTheGift was featured here:
My Post “What’s in a Name?” was featured here:
My Post: “The Journey through Change” was featured here:
Again, I have been know to link to the following Inspirational Parties: