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Have you ever been so busy that you think, if I can just make it through to ____(fill in the blank)________ then everything will be ok? So you just put your head down and keep moving forward. You may get a small break here and there, but for the most part you are a steam engine and you are going places. Got things to do, and people to see. I think you get the idea.
Yeah, well that’s me…More often than I would like to admit actually.
I have been busy, am always busy it seems – doing all kinds of good things, but a few weeks ago, I hit the wall. If you missed my post from last week where I shared about Hitting the Wall, make sure to hop on over and check it out. I shared 3 things we all need to remember to avoid hitting the wall. A.P.E. – Ask – Prioritize – Evaluate
Or as Blogger Katie Reid, commented on my blog post from last week:
APE = Important Steps to Avoid Burnout
So what about that wall?
I had been pushing through hard to get through the busy holiday season at church November – December, and then knew a small break would be coming between Christmas and New Year’s, and January is usually a pretty slow month for me at work anyways, so if I could just get through, it would all be ok. However, it was not slow and I was not ok. I made it to Christmas and shortly after, my amazing husband, who never gets sick, got sick. Not just for a day or two, but for two plus weeks. Not what either of us had planned. Our plans went out the window, and my usually slow January, was insanely busy and like none I have ever experienced.
Shortly after hitting the wall in early February, I headed off to a week of conferences with my husband. Still not fully recovered and back to my normal energetic self, I contemplated sitting in the hotel room relaxing and reading while I sent my husband off to do the conference thing. I felt guilty though and ended up attending with him, I am so glad I did.
One of the session speakers had this amazing graphic handout of a fuel gas gauge with marks to indicate a full tank. ¾ full tank; ½ full tank; ¼ full talk and a completely empty tank. The questions of the day were: What are the emotional or mental indicators that you are being drained? Do you know what drains you? Do you know when you are approaching ½ a tank or less? What can you do to fill yourself up? And finally, Do you know how to fill yourself up?
They seem like easy enough questions to answer, however, they are harder than one might think. Oh but wait, there was one more thing that I wrote down:
When I live below empty, it robs people from seeing God’s best in me and that dishonors God.
Tweet ThisOh and the speaker threw out this nugget too: When we live below empty it becomes dangerously easy to use people instead of partner with people to accomplish things we are responsible for.
OUCH! I have watched this happen in a variety of ministry and work settings. I do try really hard to safe guard myself and others under my leadership from ever “using” or taking advantage of others, but that doesn’t mean it’s always avoided.
Over the last few weeks this fuel tank analogy has been on my mind, along with the questions. Truthfully, I am not sure I can articulate what each level looks and feels like. Oh, I know when I am there, but the whole idea is to recognize it before it happens and avoid being below ½ full.
Are you anything like me? Do you feel guilty for taking time for yourself? Is it hard to relax when you have so many things you should be doing? Oh, you too? I am so glad I am not in this alone.
Identify what depletes your gas tank and what fills it up.
- Take a piece of paper and divide it in half right down the middle
- Write an “F” for full at the top of the page/line in the middle
- Write an “E” for empty at the bottom of the page/line in the middle
- At the Center of the page/line in the middle from ½
- Then halfway above ½ and below the “F” write ¾
- Then halfway below ½ and above the “E” write ¼
- On the left hand side of the page begin listing the indicators that you are being drained at each level.
- On the right hand side of the page begin listing the things that will fill you up at each level
Schedule time for yourself.
- Give yourself permission to care for you!
- It honors God when you take care of yourself.
- It is essential to staying above ½ a tank.
Utilize the 3 Steps of A.P.E. to help you avoid hitting “E”
- Ask
- Prioritize
- Evaluate
I invite you to Please take time to comment and share below with all of us:
- What are the indicators that you are being depleted?
- What is it that fills you up?
For me, a huge indicator that I am reaching the ½ point or below is, I want to withdraw, go nowhere, see no one, and just veg out. I know I have slipped below ½ when even the thought of going to the movies is rejected. Going to the movies is something that usually fills me up.
What fills me up? Going to the movies, painting furniture, reading a book, being creative, getting a pedicure, and the list goes on.
My Post: “The Journey through Change” was featured here:
I have been know to link to the following Inspirational Parties:
Sunday’s
Monday’s
What Joy is Mine/Monday Musings
Tuesday’s
Wednesday’s
Thursday’s
Friday’s:
Saturday’s:
I love this post! I’ve found myself hovering dangerously close to empty lately and you just can’t give others your best when you’re so run down. #FridayFrivolity
Jess – Thank you so much. I am so glad you found me today and the post – I pray it encouraged you greatly.
This is insightful and the acronym sticks out. Yes I have those times if this would happen then I would have more time for that. But Guess What? There is hardly enough time! When I need to fill up, I try to shut down, slow down or completely hibernate….
Thanks Debbie.
God Bless
Ifeoma – thank you so much, I appreciate your stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me today. I too have my moments of needing to hibernate and shut down. Blessings and thank you for stopping by.
Thoughtful reminder. I have been walking away from blogging more often the past few weeks to do other things I enjoy like crafting and gardening. Thanks for linking on #FridayFrivolity – I hope you come back next week.
Sadly I run on empty most days. Thank you for sharing your words here.
Barbie – I can completely relate and I am so trying to change it. Thanks for allowing me to share in your space. Blessings
Hello! Stopping by from the R&R link up 🙂
I can so relate! Our culture can be so draining as it demands (and we go right along with it) that we do so much. We have to slow down and allow God to fill us up! Thank you for the post – encouraging!
Angela, thank you for stopping by and commenting – you are so correct – slow down and let God fill us up!! Such a good word.
Hi Debbie. I’m your neighbor at Holley’s. I’m still a work in progress with learning that taking time for myself is not selfish. This strikes me and gives me pause for reflection – “It honors God when you take care of yourself.” Thank you.
Trudy – I am so glad we were neighbors at Holly’s! So glad I could give you some pause for reflection… It was hard for me to learn taking time for myself wasn’t selfish but OK and necessary. I think some can swing out of balance with it, just like anything, but we are all unique individuals so what is right for one may not be enough for someone else. Thank you for stopping by and I hope you will visit again soon.
An excellent idea! I find the more God allows me to reach others for Him, the more I need time on my own to refuel. We’re in a battle against the enemy. I have to remind myself this is a real thing.
Traci – yes, so true – remember even Jesus took time to refuel for the times of ministry ahead of him and He was in a constant battle with the enemy. Keep reaching others for Him and refueling as you go! Blessings to you.
Oh Debbie, your post resonated with me! I was down with flu last week, and I realized I had hit the wall. Those few days I spent laying in bed, unable to “do” anything actually recharged me. Thanks for sharing!
Oh Ellen – so sorry you were sick – I too am just now rejoining the land of the living after being hit out of nowhere with a high-fever and was down sick for the last 5 days, also unable to do anything. I felt like I was taking it easy before… It did recharge me for sure and I am so glad to hear you are recharged as well, just sorry you had to be sick. Thank you for stopping by and continued health to you 🙂
Great article, Debbie! I too am one of those people who feels guilty for taking time for myself. I love how you compared this to ministry work as well. Thanks for sharing with #SocialButterflySunday! Hope to see you link up again this week 🙂
Thank you Kelly, I think often times ministry work isn’t view the same as “work” but it is. I’ve been down sick so I missed this last weeks link-up, but will se you again next week 🙂
Debbie, what a powerfully true statement, “When we live below empty it becomes dangerously easy to use people instead of partner with people to accomplish things we are responsible for.” I know I’ve been there before. When I’m on “E” my natural tendency is to focus on goals, rather than people. So I tend to start demanding, which usually ends up with feelings hurt. God is definitely working on me in this area. Having a life coach has really helped me to begin setting time aside for myself. It’s a win/win for everyone! Linking up at I Choose Joy today.
Alisa – So glad you could stop by and share your thoughts – and you are not alone – God is working on me too, as He is with us all so we are in good company 🙂 I am so glad you have a life coach helping you navigate this and other areas. Life coaching is wonderful and a great added benefit to help us reach our goals.. They often see things in us we can’t see and give us the encouragement and courage to move forward. Way to go and keep moving forward and winning in life!
Debbie, I love this post and it’s so timely for me. Things have been crazy town in my house lately. Since obtaining an autoimmune disease I know what puts me over the edge, and what it looks like before it happens, I can see it on my calendar, when it’s full. But my whole challenge right now is eliminating something. I realize that I’m not doing my best when I’m running on empty, but right now almost everything I’m doing is for my children, or my family, and they are things that can’t be changed for the moment. I’m hoping that they are soon because Running on Empty is not fun. My brain gets all squirmy and I can’t think right, and I know that’s not doing my best.
Oh Nikki – I am so sorry to hear things are going crazy town for you. I completely relate to the squirmy brain. I think recognizing things needs to change and also recognizing when your approaching the edge are big things, and while there are definite seasons that you have certain things only you can do – like care for your family, I am believing and praying that relief will soon come and God will make a way for you and send relief when there doesn’t seem to be any in sight. I think sometimes doing what we can and what is right in front of us is our best and I believe you are doing that. I hope you are encouraged today. I know every time I visit your site and read your posts, I am encouraged and inspired! Blessings to you
Thank-you for sharing this post. It’s so needed and so practical. It’s so easy to become addicted to keeping busy and not step back and look at what the full impact of our lives is.
Brooke – you are so welcome and yes! Yes, it is so easy or addicted as you said to staying busy and on the go – such is the way of our society right? I have learned and still am learning to rest – we need it – God told us to do it and in the long run it helps us be more productive. 🙂 Blessings and thanks for stopping by today.