[Widget_Twitter id=”1″]
Hi everyone. I’m back! I pray you have enjoyed all the guest posts over the last 2 months. I wasn’t really planning to have been absent for so long from writing, but God knew exactly what I needed and what was going to happen. Let’s just say, I am so glad to be back with you.
No Regrets
What would it look like if you lived your life with No More Regrets?
Tweet This
The past season has been one of the most difficult of my life. On Christmas Eve of last year, my parents had arrived for Christmas and my dad’s health had significantly declined. My mom shared the doctor’s diagnosis and grim outcome. As if that wasn’t discouraging enough, we received 2 phone calls from family and friends. Both with diagnosis of cancer. One was being put on hospice, the other was not given a great prognosis.
It didn’t matter, I was a fighter, a warrior and God had just given me my #oneword for 2019. MIRACLE ! I just knew I was going to see a miracle for every one of our loved ones. I believed it with my whole heart. I prayed. I declared. I stood on scripture, worshiped and had faith all the way to the end. One by one, my loved ones lost their battles and still I chose to believe. But that wasn’t all…there were more loved ones who suffered loss and we had some major upheaval in our church. Truthfully, all that has happened in the last year feels like one of those tragic Hollywood stories, where things look dismal but then they turn out okay. However, with my story, the happy ending never came for those I loved. And Yet….
Yet, I still choose to believe. I believe that God is still the God of miracles. I believe that even though things didn’t turn out the way I wanted, or people weren’t miraculous healed, I trust God. My dad has been gone for two months and every day I never know when the grief will hit, but it does.
This week I spent a few days with a friend who recently lost a parent too. As we were talking about losing our parents and sharing stories about them, we laughed, and cried a lot. But at the end of the conversation, I said to her, “I have no regrets” what about you? She thought for a minute and she said, “No, when it comes to my mom, I have no regrets, at least none in the last few years when she got sick. I nodded my head in agreement. I understood completely.
I did a lot of life with my dad in the last 9-months before he passed. Once we we found out about his diagnosis, I purposed to make time. I spent time caring for him so my mom could go be with her sister on hospice. I made the 3.5-hour one way trip to see him every time before I would travel so that I made sure to let him know I loved him and I would have no regrets if something suddenly happened. I also got to pray for my dad. I saw God do miracles on his behalf. I had candid conversations, made memories with him and made the most of the time we had, every time I was with him.
After my dad passed, I found myself telling people, I had no regrets. It got me thinking about other areas of my life and asking myself if I had regrets. Truthfully, I can say, that yes, in other areas of my life, I have regrets.
I have regrets that I didn’t always spend as much time with family. I have regrets that I don’t always believe in myself or my writing. I regret that I was silent when someone hurt me, instead of speaking up and speaking truth in love. I have regrets that I used to allow fear to hold me back from stepping out to do what was in my heart. I regret that it took me 3 years to start my podcast. I regret that I allowed my insecurities to hold me back from pursuing my dreams. I regret the times I had the opportunity to share the gospel with someone but remained silent. I regret the times I was hurt by people and never said anything. There are a lot of things that I regret, but many of those things I can’t change. I can’t go back and turn back time, no matter how much I try. I could allow all those regrets to consume me and tangle me up, but I have chosen to not allow that to happen. I had some warning about my dad and the possibilities, even though I chose to believe in a miracle. I had the ability to choose to live with no regrets, but sometimes, it’s not always the case. Recently, I met a woman whose son had a tragic accident that took his life. As she shared, she definitely had regrets regarding their last conversation and it has haunted her ever since.
I feel blessed that God allowed me to have no regrets when it came to my dad and the last months of his life. As I have been ruminating over this phrase “No regrets” I feel as if the Lord has been challenging me to continue to live my life in such a way that when I look back, I can say, “I have no regrets.”
Sometimes, it means I will be doing something I want to do even with the fear trying to hold me back. Sometimes, it may mean saying sorry, or I needing to make amends for my words or actions. Sometimes it may mean that I choose to not work and spend time with my family. I simple will begin to re-evaluate my priorities and make sure the important things remain the important things.
What about you? Do you have regrets?
If so, is there something you can change today so that you won’t have any regrets when you look back?
Or do you already live your life in such a way that you have no regrets?
Now, let me caution you that this is not a version of YOLO (You only live once) and therefore giving you permission to do things that are against the law, or the Bible. It’s not giving you permission to live your life in an unkind, unsafe or reckless way. This is simply living the best life you can guided by the principles of the Bible and making sure the priorities that should be priorities are in the proper place.
Welcome and Thank you for joining me for #TuneInThursday it is an honor to have you here!
I have had a few people ask for a badge/button to display on your blogs. I would absolutely be honored if you would display it, or link back here in some way. Thank you!
Now let’s get this party started, feel free to link 1-3 posts:
[Widget_Twitter id=”1″]
Debbie Kitterman is a natural born encourager who is on fire for God. She is passionate about equipping individuals, so they can go deeper in the relationship with God, reach their God-potential and claim their Kingdom inheritance. Debbie is a wife, mother, author, pastor, speaker and the founder of “Dare 2 Hear,” a ministry that trains individuals to hear the voice of God. She travels to churches internationally and is the founder and teacher of d2htraining.com, an online course designed to equip the believer in releasing God’s heart. Her writing and teachings inspire faith and build bridges for people to believe and expect the impossible. She is also an ordained Foursquare pastor, currently serving with her husband, John, as senior pastor of Restoration Church in Lacey, Washington. Learn more at: www.debbiekitterman.com
Follow Debbie Kitterman
Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Instagram :: Pinterest :: FB Ministry Page :: LinkedIn :: Google+:: YouTube
YouVersion 7-Day Devotional
I am blessed and honored to have a 7-day devotional on the YouVersion Bible App. YAY!!! It is a great way to kick start the 7- days before my on-line Bible Study starts next week. I would be so blessed if you would check it out and share it with your friends. You can find it here: Be The Gift Someone Needs Today!
Do you wonder if God still speaks today? Do you wonder if He would ever speak to you personally? Do you long to hear the voice of God in your life?
Have your read other books on hearing from God, but long for hands on practical application? or are you looking for ways to move you forward hearing from God?
If you answered YES to any of those questions, then I have exactly what you need. I now have an online e-course designed to equip you in understanding that God still speaks today, and He longs to speak directly to you, through His word, and others. He longs to encourage you, strengthen you and comfort you. The training on this site, is fully based on Scripture, and taken from my training manual Releasing God’s heart through Hearing His Voice.
God is speaking, Can you Hear Him?
d2htrainging.com membership site is open, I invite you to check it out today, and develop a deeper relationship with the Lord, as you learn to hear Him speak to your heart.
Looking for other Great Inspirational Parties. Click Here to see where I Link-Up weekly.
Several Submissions have been featured at Blessed Transgressions, an Online Magazine:
Balancing the Warrior & the Princess We’re Called to Be
Trusting God When it Seems Illogical
Will You Sit with Me? (Jesus is Calling.)
My Post: The Reluctant Encourager was featured here:
My Posts: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year & And So Do We! & Know Your Why & Jesus in Us! were featured here:
My Post #BeTheGift was featured here:
My Post “Climb Every Mountain” was featured in the August monthly link-up at : Life on Intention Link-up Party
My Posts: “Will You Sit with Me?” & New Mercies Everyday & Wait for it were featured here:
My Post: The Power of your Story, The Reluctant Encourager and #TeamJesus were featured here:
My Post “What’s in a Name?” was featured here:
My Post: “The Journey through Change” was featured here:
Again, I have been know to link to the following Inspirational Parties:
Debbie, I’m so sorry you lost your dad. It’s been several years since I lost my dad and the grief still strikes at times. But like you, I was blessed by God to be able to spend his last days with him with no regrets. It’s a blessing I don’t take for granted. Thank you for sharing what you’re learning through this painful time. May God grant us the wisdom and courage to live a life with no regrets all to His glory.
Thank you, Carlie. I am sorry that you lost your dad too. I had no idea how something like this would be, I’ve never lost a parent before until now and I am so very grateful that God gave me the opportunity to have no regrets with my dad. Now, I am working on the rest of my life. 🙂 Blessings
Debbie,
I still really miss my dad and it’s been 9 years since he passed. I do often feel him with me and his wisdom guiding me. I am trying to live in a way that I don’t have regrets. I don’t want my last words to someone to be words of disappointment or anger. God really calls us to be still, present, and in the moment with those we love. Trying to heed His call.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Bev, others have told me the missing your parents never really does go away. I love that you still feel his wisdom with you even now. I am glad we are not in this alone, but we are trying to heed His call together. Blessings to you too!
Making time is one of the best things we can do today so we don’t have regrets tomorrow. So grateful you had the opportunity to do that with your family.
Thank you Rebecca, I am so very grateful I had time with my dad too.
I suppose it’s unrealistic to expect to live a life of zero regrets, and I’ve had my share, but going forward, I’m realizing that relationships are more valuable than accomplishments or tasks, and I can see from His Word that God is on that page with me!
Michele, you are so right in that it is unrealistic to live our life with zero regrets, but the older I get, I am determined going forward, they will be less. I so agree!!! relationships are the most value thing or at least they should be. Blessings
My greatest regret is not living as I should have when first husband and I divorced. Those were critical years for my children and I royally blew it. I have repented and asked forgiveness, which they graciously gave. Now? NO regrets. I say what’s on my mind with grace and kindness and love. I’m glad you did the YOLO postscript! Love you Debbie, and just so you know, I still miss my mom after 7 years. xoxo
Oh Susan, thank you for sharing so honestly. I love you! I am sorry that you have such regrets, but I believe God has redeemed and restored that time especially now that you have repented and asked forgiveness and your kids have extended grace is a huge thing. Yay God! I too am doing my best to say what’s on my mind in love and lots of grace. I am glad you like the YOLO postscript. I felt the strong need to include it. 🙂 XOXO
Debbie, you are wise to have no regrets for spending time with your dad. I look at my mom’s last years and always have the feeling that I could have done more. Even though I visited her every day, helped her with her shower and got her into bed every night, and helped her with an occasional “jail break” from the assisted living facility, I think of all the things I could have, should have done that I didn’t. Any prayers you can offer for me on this would be greatly appreciated! 🙂
Oh Laurie, I am sure you did all that you could do and that your mom knew that. I pray God gives you much grace and that He shows you that you did exactly what you could do at the time. I too wish I had more time or could do more, but I guess, I have no regrets because I truly do feel like I did all that I could do when given the opportunities. There were times I couldn’t get to dad, but I made the most of it when I could. I think that is what you need to remember. I love that you did an occasional “Jail break” with your mom. I am sure she loved those times. As for my advice, it’s pretty much what I mentioned above, give yourself grace. You had your life to live and you spent time with her every single day. You did the best you could do with the time you were given. Ask God to show you how He saw it. Don’t be so hard on yourself and ask God to remind you of the times you spent with your mom and how it made her feel. 🙂 Hugs, prayers and love!
You have had quite the year, Debbie. Thank you for stepping back and gleaning this lesson about living without regrets and for sharing it with us. It’s a very real reminder that life can be turned upside down without notice, and it’s a reminder for me, in this season of life with three little ones, to really embrace these moments. Thank you for this. I pray God is healing your heart as you grieve and walk through the process of mourning your dad and the others you have lost this year. Sending love!
Yes Stacey, it has been quite the year, I am ready to move into the new. Yes, embrace every moment with your three littles at home and enjoy every single day making memories, no matter how big or how small. Thank you for your prayers. I am sure God is healing my heart as I move through this process, it just feels a little raw at the moment. Thanks for the love and I am Sending some love back your way.
What a great post, Debbie! I think regrets are terrible things to live with because they include the “if only” times. My parents died in 1995 exactly three months to the day of each other. My dad who at 84 had been very healthy with no chronic issues suddenly developed pneumonia that didn’t respond to treatment. My mom who at 79 had a list of health issues shut down and left me to handle everything with my dad because she feared he would die. (They had been married 55 years.) I don’t think I have regrets with them during those later years. But to say there have been other instances over my lifetime where I had regrets would be true and what it taught me was to live life in a way that made it less likely to have regrets. I never take people I love for granted nor do I miss a chance to encourage them.
My oldest friend of 93 went home to Jesus in June. I had known her for almost 45 years and she was a treasure to me, but I can say I have no regrets. One of our last visits I asked her what she sensed the Lord saying to her and she paused and said, “That I won’t be disappointed.” And I’m sure she’s not!!
Oh Pam, I am so very sorry for your loss of both your parents from ’95 and more recently your sweet friend. I am so glad you can say you had no regrets with any of them. I love that your friend shared with you what she sensed the Lord saying, what a thing to hold onto at times when her loss is hard. Thank you for sharing your story with me and encouraging me with your words. Blessings
Great post, Debbie! Your story about your dad’s cancer and mine are very similar. I chose to believe for a miracle and though one didn’t come, on earth, it still came for him in heaven. He is pain free!
I definitely want to live a life of no regrets and it is pushing me to make decisions I really don’t want to make, but I know it will be worth it.
Jerralea, Thank you so very much. And thank you for sharing your story with me. I am so very sorry you have a similar story as mine 🙂 My dad didn’t have cancer but he had several other things that were along the same line that ended his life… but my aunt and one of our best friends did have cancer and that was not great either. Yes, the miracle still came for our loved ones in heaven and in that I take great comfort. 🙂 Blessings
I am so sorry for your loss, but rejoice in your dad’s new home. laurensparks.net
thank you Lauren. That is the one great comfort with my dad and the others that have passed. They are all rejoicing in their new heavenly home.
Your words are perfect timing friend.
I was encouraged by your admission of those times you do regret, not that I am happy you have them but it reminds me to not let those hold me back. I often hold back. Thank you for sharing. That your year was such, and you gave, speaks volumes too. I am so thankful you spent quality time with those you treasure, and they you. At the core, it’s people, right? Because he abides IN us, and this truth is powerful.
Oh thank you so much Meghan! I am so glad my post was encouraging to you in some way. I would say, don’t hold back. Be you, always be true to who God made you be, you are a wonderful person! Yes, my year has been pretty horrific to say the least, but as you said, at the core it’s the people and the time we had to spend with them. Love you
I used to think I had a lot of regrets, guilt and even shame, that I wasn’t a better role model as a believer, but you can not force people to believe in Jesus or miracles. He knows what we do not, and do not always understand, people who do believe even tire of the battle. Condolences, Debbie, His peace.
Thank you Rebecca. You are so right, we can not force anyone to believe and nor should we try, instead we strive to live as Jesus did and do our best to share our stories when we can and pray people see their need for Him. Blessings
I’m so sorry for all your losses this year, Debbie. Some years just seem to pile on like that. I lost my mom and my dad in the same year, 7 months apart. Thankfully I was able to spend a lot of time with both them in that year so I have no regrets.
Oh Lisa, I am so sorry, that must have been very hard to lose them both in the same year. I am having a hard time with losing just one. I am so glad that you were able to spend lots of time with them both and have no regrets either. 🙂
Regrets are a waste of time, but I can still experience some. Praise God that He gives us opportunities to not have to look back and wish things had been different. Bless you on your clinging faith even in grief.
Thank you Sue. I do agree, regrets are indeed a waste of time, even though they still occur.
I love Debbie, how you acknowledged that you do have regrets. Often I’ve heard ‘never say you have regrets as that is self-defeating.’ So, it is refreshing to see you acknowledge your that in life, we will have regrets and can learn from them. I am working on not regretting giving up my dreams and not believing in myself!
Thank you, Lynn. I am glad you found my post and confession refreshing. I pray that it has helped you in some way too. I am not sure what regrets and dreams you have given up on, but knowing God, He has a way of redeeming things and breathing new life to things we thought were dead or gone. I pray that He would begin to show you if those dreams could still be a reality. 🙂
Blessings
Lifting you up in prayer as I read this. As one who knows what it is to have to process personal loss while at the same time going through hurt and loss in ministry life, I understand your level of grief and pain. I also understand the fear of speaking up when hurt from my own years of stuffing down things people at church said and did. Staying free of resentment and bitterness is a daily process in life, isn’t it? May the God of all comfort, comfort you in this season. I’ve learned this year as I’ve studied the word comfort in Scripture, that it is frequently linked to the promise that God will rebuild our ruined and devastated places. I’m believing that for you.
Elizabeth, thank you so much for your encouragement and also for your authenticity in sharing that you know what I am going through. Sometimes, it is healing just to hear others in ministry have been through tough seasons and have come through the other side. Thank you for your prayers of comfort at this time as well. and yes, staying free from bitterness, resentment and hurt is a daily process… sometimes it’s a minute by minute one… God is surely a God who will rebuild the ruined and devastated places. I have that hope and have begun to see Him start to rebuild already. Thank you!