I have a confession.
I am a little shocked and a tad embarrassed to even admit it….. but …..
I’ve been running. Not as in exercise, but as in hiding. I’ve been feeling inadequate and a failure. I’ve been feeling as if I didn’t have anything to say worth saying.
There’s been no desire to sit and write a blog post. No desire to write period.
When I looked back at my planning calendar, I realized, it’s been 7+ weeks since I have written and posted a regular blog post. The Lesson’s from the Lake Vlog video posts, were pre-scheduled, and only needed a little tweaking or tweets added. That is about all I have done, and it feels strange.
It feels strange to not have been writing and sharing my thoughts for that long. I mean, I am a writer! It’s what I have always wanted to do and be, and yet, it seems this is a season to focus on it in a different way.
I know for many of you, October is a month full of writing since you have taken on the challenge and are writing every day! The idea of Writing 31 whole days and posting every single one of them is overwhelming. My hat is off to you, and I have enjoyed reading them when I can. I think it is fantastic and I admire you all so much. I know some of you will turn these 31 days into books or devotionals, and I am so excited for you. I did not even attempt the challenge this year, as I had planned to, but for good reasons.
Honestly, because I have been so overwhelmed and feeling like a failure lately, it makes it hard to write anything. However, in this season I don’t have the luxury to NOT write because I have several projects in the works and deadlines to be met.
I have been busy planning and contemplating new joint book project with my husband. I’ve been revising some other content for a publisher’s consideration. Plus, I’ve been working on a new project which involves recording tons of video teachings and adapting teaching notes into lessons. Yep, finally, my training book, “Releasing God’s Heart through Hearing His Voice,” is become an online e-course/membership site. Hopefully it will launch very soon. So stay tuned for more information in the months ahead.
All the things, I have been doing are great and exciting things, however, it hasn’t been without opposition. I often forget opposition comes when we step out in obedience to the Lord. I spent hours recording all the video training at the beginning of September, then took a fun mother/daughter vacation to Disneyland to enjoy the Tower of Terror ride before it closes. Upon returning from this fun trip, I learned all the recordings had to be redone. Ugh! I was upset, frustrated, and feelings of wanting to quit and being overwhelmed by all that was on my plate came rushing in. I kept waking up in the wee hours of the night/morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Double Ugh!
This week I was scheduled to re-record, and it is almost laughable the opposition that came. At the location I was recording, a neighbor decided to have a few trees removed from their property, so recording was pushed back to the evening. However, they tree removal continued until around 9pm. Then the next day, they had to come back and finished, however, the neighbor on the other side also was having a tree trimmed. Needless to say, no recording has been done and I had to reschedule again. Prayers are most appreciated.
On top of all the tasks on my to do list for writing projects, new websites, teaching, travel, other stresses were added from relationships, things with my family, the church, my kids and on and on.
Yet, God has taught me some good things during this season as well.
Here are the 4 things He has been showing me during this time.
I have to remember!
Remember that no matter what opposition comes at me that God is on my side. He is for me, He will fight the battle, and I fight from victory not for victory. I also need to remember that no matter what lies the enemy whispers in my ear, they are just that lies. Instead, I need to remember what God says is true about me.
I have to release!
Once I remember, I have to release all my worry, stress, anxiety, control, and anything else that may cause distractions and give them over to God. I need to trust God through the process and know that He is in control. I need to stand on His Word and His promises and release everything else.
I have to refocus!
Once I have remembered and released, I MUST Refocus! Refocus my eyes from the tasks and things that need to get done and the timetable I had set, to God’s timetable and the tasks He is actually asking me to accomplish.
I have to recharge!
Yes, in the middle of the busy! In the middle of stress, and feelings of being overwhelmed, I have to take time to recharge. You see, I am a doer. I will work and work all hours of the day and night. I will push myself until I can’t go anymore. When this happens, I hit a wall, I am running on empty and then all I want to do is quit, run, or hibernate. None of these things are healthy or good. So yes, I must take time to recharge and fill back up.
So what did I do? I sat down to write! Yep, because a writer writes…. A writer writes for fun, to share, to voice what they’ve been keeping inside. A writer writes to recharge.
How have you been feeling lately?
Are you writing 31 days this month? If so please comment below and share what your topic is.
I will be hosting a new link up starting soon – the 3 most popular dates (actually, they each had the same number of votes) from the survey.
They were Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, so if you haven’t had the opportunity to voice your opinion follow the link here and share your thoughts.
I am trying to determine the best day to have my new linkup on.
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. Your opinion matters and your voice counts! ???? Click o the picture to go to the survey
My Post: “The Journey through Change” was featured here: