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Can you just take a minute and imagine with me?  Alright, are you ready?


Take a deep breathe, it will be ok, I promise.


Let’s say you are driving your car, minding your own business, obeying the rules of the road.  When all of the sudden, out of nowhere, a car comes barreling down on you.  You notice it as you glance in your rearview mirror, but you don’t do anything different, other than pay attention to what’s in front of you and what’s now so obviously behind you.


What do you do?


Now the car has gotten right up behind you and the driver is honking the horn and flashing their lights at you.


Now, what do you do?


Do you react? or respond?


There is a huge difference between reacting and responding.  While they are similar in definition there are some subtleties.


In the case of the above car situation, a responder might simply respond in a thoughtful, cautious manner.  The might not get emotional or mad but rather simply get out of the way of the crazy driver.


On the other hand, someone who is a reactor, may get upset, mad, and maybe even yell a little, to no one in particular, but out of sheer frustration.  One might say, their emotions took charge and they reacted.


Sometimes we do the same when we are in relationship with others.  Whether it be a spouse, a family member, a co-worker, or a boss.  We may feel someone barreling down on us, and we have a choice to react vs respond.


Join me today as I share a little bit about these two words and why they are important in relationships.




I am an emotional reactor and my husband is the contemplative responder. We need to make sure to not react emotionally to situations, but we need to learn to respond appropriately.


If you haven’t read Danny Silk’s book “Keep your Love On” I can not recommend it enough.



Note: This is an affiliate link. By clicking on the pictures you will be linked                                     to the book on amazon. I do receive a small commission for anything purchased                     from Amazon, although you don’t pay any more than you normally would by going                      to Amazon directly yourself.


The “Keep Your Love On” book, radically changed not just my communication style with my husband, but also it helped me with the people I lead. I am sad to say, my emotional reactions have gotten the better of me a time or two.  Although, I did go back and apologize for my reaction instead of being slow to respond, I had already not handled the situation appropriately.


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