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I am excited to introduce you to a series that continues for eight weeks with three of my incredible friends. As of now, I plan to share a “Lessons from the Lake” Video on the topic as well. Check out both videos, the first is the introduction to the series, and the second is a little bit about the topic for the week and my thoughts on it.
- Please note: The videos are not the same as the written content below it.
Together we will share insight, challenges, and our faith through our journeys of perseverance. Please join myself, Mary Geisen, Holly Barrett, and Patricia Krank as we learn from each other and share encouragement with our own stories of perseverance.
Part 1 in the Perseverance series (Bravely Overcoming Fear) can be found HERE, Part 2 (Persevering in Recovery) can be found HERE, Part 3 (When Prayers Remain Unanswered) can be found HERE …
Now, it’s my turn! Today is week 4 in a 8 week series on Perseverance. Read below as I share how we can persevere through the sting of rejection.
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Perseverance through Rejection
The little girl wandered the yard looking for pretty white daisies, but she began collecting dandelions instead. Finally, when she had as many she could find without venturing too far, she walked to the very edge of the grass toward the rock retaining wall that overlooked the property.
Making her way past the grass and through the bushes she plopped her little bottom down and scooted right to the very edge. She was careful to not lose her balance or the precious “flowers” she had just picked. As she sat precariously on the edge she gingerly picked up a dandelion and began to pluck its petals, one at a time. Ever so softly she whispered … “They love me, they love me not. They love me …. They love me not….” This continued until that bright yellow flower had no more petals to pull. Then she picked up the next dandelion and did the same thing, making a pile to one side of ‘they love me’, and to the other side a pile of ‘they love me not’.
Did you ever do this as a child?
I did. In fact the above little girl is me. The scene above is one you would have seen me participating in over the years. As I pulled the petals one by one from those poor dandelion weeds, I so desperately needed to have the outcome be, “Yes”, yes they did love me. As I grew older, I would sit at the very edge of that wall, overlooking the neighborhood tormenting the poor dandelions once again, only this time wondering and daydreaming if this boy or that boy loved me.
A silly childhood game to some, but to me, one that I so desperately depended upon to give my little girl self the assurance that she was loved and accepted by those around her.
Have you ever experienced the sting of rejection?
The truth is, at some point in all our lives we will feel the sting of rejection, whether it be from family, a crush, a friend, or even a total stranger. Maybe you have felt the sting of rejection by not getting picked, or getting picked last. Maybe you felt rejected from the person who unsubscribed from your blog, or maybe you didn’t get the job you so desperately wanted.
Rejection is no respecter of persons, it affects us all, just in different ways and to different extremes.
Rejection can blind us to the truth and place seeds that grow roots that entangle many areas of our life and heart.
The roots and seeds of encounters with rejection are very much like dandelions. Dandelions have roots that twist and turn going very deep into the ground. When you pluck them, and try to root them out, it seems over time they spring back up.
Why? Because those dandelion roots twist and turn and go deep into the ground. If you don’t take the time to dig them up and root them out, they have enough sustenance in them to come back again and again. For dandelion weeds not to return, we must take the whole root out, leaving nothing behind.
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The same is true of rejection. Rejection needs to be dealt with at the root of the issue, otherwise, it will keep coming back again and again. In fact, it comes back so much so that we begin to reject others before they can reject us.
For me, the root of rejection began before I was even born, I just didn’t know it until years later. As a little girl, I did not look to people to tell me I was loved and accepted, but instead to a flower and its petals. It may seem strange to you, but when you have been rejected you don’t even dare trust others and you sure as heck don’t want to ask them if they love you, you just assume it’s best not to know the truth.
I was an innocent unborn child when the first seeds of rejection were planted in my life. The seeds came simply because my father’s family didn’t want me. You see, they had issues of their own. My dad was the man of the family and had been so since he was 15, and they didn’t want him to have a family of his own. It would change everything.
As a kid, I had no idea why one aunt didn’t like me or my mother, and yet she would later love my sister. I had no idea why my grandma was less than kind to my mom and hard and abrasive to me. I would not have used the word rejected. Instead I would say I felt unwanted, unworthy, not accepted, and not loved.
When I would read Scripture like Jeremiah 29:11,
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (ESV).
I had a hard time believing that God had any plans for my life, let alone good ones. I had an even harder time believing that God loved me and wouldn’t reject me too. I figured that if my own family didn’t want me, then neither would God.
Rejection causes us to look for love in all the wrong places. I looked for love and acceptance by being all things to all people, which leads to people pleasing issues. I looked for acceptance by excelling at whatever I did. I even looked to dandelions to tell me if I was loved or not.
Here’s what I know: Rejection is going to come, but we don’t have to accept it. Even the heroes of our faith and the nobody’s in the Bible experienced rejection.
Here’s what I’ve learned: I do not find my acceptance in what I do or how others feel about me. I find my value and acceptance in Jesus, what He did for me, and what His word says about me!
Here’s what you need to know: If the enemy can keep us entangled in roots of rejection we will never walk in our full Kingdom Destiny.
Here’s what we need to do: If you feel the sting of rejection, don’t allow the seeds to take root in your life. Immediately give it to God, seek prayer and healing if needed, and if possible share with the person how their words or actions made you feel. When I have done this, I usually discover that they were not rejecting me.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)
There is more to be said about the topic of rejection that I have decided to do a part 2. Plan to join me This Thursday for the #TuneInThursday Linkup as I share about Overcoming The Sting of Rejection Part 2
I also invite you to watch this weeks video blog below. I recorded it a month ago, when I was feeling rejection trying to take root again in my own life.
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Thanks for sharing part of your story. I think all of us relate to rejection in one way or another. So true that it is deep-rooted and even when we think we’ve dealt with it, it can return. It is so important to learn to keep our eyes on Jesus and find our acceptance in him. Visiting from Testimony Tuesday.
Lesley – you are most welcome. I do agree most everyone has a story or a time when they felt rejection. Turning to Jesus was the only thing that helped me find love and acceptance – thanks for stopping by from Testimony Tuesday
Debbie, you have brought a truth filled post! May we each do the hard work of getting at the root and walk in all that God has for us!
Joanne – thank you and yes I agree! May we each walk in all God has for us and get at the root of things that may be standing in the way. Blessings
Debbie, it’s so wise of you to look to the lives of biblical men and women who experienced rejection — and then discovered the all-encompassing love of God. So thankful that you were rescued and that you persevere in His acceptance.
Michele – I am so thankful that I persevered too, and found His love and acceptance. I love learning and gleaning from those in the Bible – I often say, have an issue, look to the Word, theres always an answer to be found there. Blessings
Debbie, what a beautiful post. I dealt with a lot of rejection by my peers in elementary school. It colored my whole life and how I saw myself. It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that I realized how deep the roots had run in my heart. God has done a lot of work in my life since that time, but there are times when those old scars get scraped a bit. For me, it is a life lesson and continual yielding to Jesus as He works transformation in every part of who I am.
Thank you Jeanne! I am so sorry to hear that your peers in elementary school where so cruel. Rejection does color how we see ourselves doesn’t it. But the amazing news, is that God has done a work in both our lives and as we continue to yield to Him as you said, He will continue to transform us. Thank you for sharing a little of your story with me today, and I pray that the old scars get scraped less and less in both our lives. Blessings
You’re so right, Debbie, this is something that we all deal with to one degree or another. Thank you for pointing us to the One Who will never leave us or forsake us. Our worth should be found in Him alone. Have a blessed week!
June – you are so very right, He is the one our worth is found in and no one else. You are welcome for pointing you to Jesus cause He is the only one that can handle all of it. Have a blessed week yourself.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us, Debbie! I really appreciate how you compared the sting of rejection to those pesky dandelion roots. It’s true that they go so deep we often don’t realize that we’ve left some behind. But when I am listening to the Holy Spirit, He reveals a root that I didn’t even know I had left behind from years ago. Thanks for these encouraging words today, to keep listening to God’s good promises!
Bettie – you are welcome and the dandelion analogy is something God gave me a long time ago when I first started dealing with rejection and a few other things. Don’t you just love how the Holy Spirit reveals things and points us to the truth… He is the ultimate encourager – encouraging us to keep on keeping on and not give up and taking care of what needs taken care of. Blessings to you
I’m sorry you had to experience rejection in your life, Debbie. I love your analogy of the dandelion with its deep roots. Yes, rejection can take such deep roots in our hearts. I am slowly learning this as well – “I do not find my acceptance in what I do or how others feel about me. I find my value and acceptance in Jesus, what He did for me, and what His word says about me!” It has been a looong journey, and I am still a work-in-progress. But God is so good to me as He keeps reminding me my identity is in Him and He accepts and even values me just as I am. Thank you for this encouraging reminder! Blessings to you!
Thank you Trudy – I am sorry I had to experience it too, but also at the same time I understand God has used what the enemy intended for harm for His(God’s) good instead. I agree it is a long journey, but remember we are all in the long process together – just at different places and stages so we can help each other. Blessings to you as well.
Debbie- thank you for sharing! I felt rejection as a child also. I’m still dealing with it 30+ years later. It’s affected everything to this point. I’m re-learning how my worth is in God not in others.
Great post!
Oh Julie – rejection does affect every area of our lives. I am so sorry you too had to experience it as well, but I am so glad you are find your worth in God and re-learning – just know you are not in it alone – just this week as I have been struggling with writing the piece I have felt the sting once again, and in the last few months as well. I pray you feel more and more of the Father’s love for you this week. Thank you
Deb, been there done that got the tee shirt and the single mom of three award!!! Let’s not deal with the fruit of rejection but let’s get to the root of it!! Looking forward to part 2.
Oh yes Susan, I completely agree — let’s not deal with the fruit of it at all…
Great thoughts, Debbie. I especially like the metaphor of how the root of a weed must be completely pulled out or it will return. Yes, those pesky insecure and condemning thoughts that come straight from the Enemy will return if we don’t pull them out and replace them with God’s word. I love your focus today and how vulnerable you have been to share your story. I’m so sorry that you had to experience that rejection from your father’s family. But it sounds as if you’ve learned how to overcome with the love of Christ being your mainstay!
Thank you Beth – The Lord gave me that metaphor many years ago when I was whining and complaining that I thought we had dealt with this issue or that issue only to have it come back…. and yes, I am sorry too that I and so many others have had to navigate the sting of rejection, but it is only by God’s grace and mercy and love that I have overcome – He is my rock – He is my everything! Thanks for stopping by today and leaving me a comment too.
Debbie, thank you for so openly sharing your experience with rejection. Whether as a young girl or an adult, it’s never a good feeling. Thankfully, I’ve found God’s word to be so encouraging in those moments and it helps me to rely on the truth of His Word. I love the way you suggested we do that.
You are most welcome Marva. You are so right no matter when rejection comes, it never feels good. Relying on God’s word has been the only thing that has gotten me through some pretty tough times. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me today and taking a minute to comment.
You speak such truth, Debbie: “Rejection is going to come, but we don’t have to accept it.” Learning to reject rejection is a journey, but it’s one I am on, too.
I am sorry we are journeying down rejection lane together, but we are in good company – you and I and Jesus! plus all the million others who are working through it too. Thank you Lisa for sharing with me in the journey. Let’s keep speaking the truth to one another.
I’ve been in that grassy place pulling flower petals, hoping for a “yes” more times than I can count. But reminding myself who and Whose I am helps rejection’s sting not take root in my identity. Thank you for encouraging words, Debbie!
Oh Crystal – you are so right – and in fact the words you wrote about who and whose you are in knowing your identity is exactly what I wrote in part 2 today on the blog. I am sorry you have experienced this same thing, but as we keep looking to Jesus and reminding ourselves, we will make it through. Blessings to you and thanks for reading today!